<!DOCTYPE html>
<html>
<head>
<meta charset="UTF-8">
<title>It’s Okay by plaidpains</title>
<style type="text/css">

body { background-color: #ffffff; }
.CI {
text-align:center;
margin-top:0px;
margin-bottom:0px;
padding:0px;
}
.center   {text-align: center;}
.cover    {text-align: center;}
.full     {width: 100%; }
.quarter  {width: 25%; }
.smcap    {font-variant: small-caps;}
.u        {text-decoration: underline;}
.bold     {font-weight: bold;}
</style>
</head>
<body>
<h1><a href="https://archiveofourown.org/works/23784835">It’s Okay</a> by <a class='authorlink' href='https://archiveofourown.org/users/plaidpains/pseuds/plaidpains'>plaidpains</a></h1>

<table class="full">

<tr><td><b>Category:</b></td><td>9-1-1 (TV)</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Genre:</b></td><td>Angst, Emotional Hurt/Comfort, Fluff, Hurt Eddie Diaz, Hurt Evan "Buck" Buckley, Hurt/Comfort, M/M, Men Crying</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Language:</b></td><td>English</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Status:</b></td><td>Completed</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Published:</b></td><td>2020-04-23</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Updated:</b></td><td>2020-04-23</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Packaged:</b></td><td>2021-05-02 21:34:37</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Rating:</b></td><td>Not Rated</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Warnings:</b></td><td>No Archive Warnings Apply</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Chapters:</b></td><td>1</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Words:</b></td><td>2,373</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Publisher:</b></td><td>archiveofourown.org</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Story URL:</b></td><td>https://archiveofourown.org/works/23784835</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Author URL:</b></td><td>https://archiveofourown.org/users/plaidpains/pseuds/plaidpains</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Summary:</b></td><td><div class="userstuff">
              <p>Following everything that went down, Buck struggles to leave Eddie’s side. While Eddie struggles to cope.</p><p>Or </p><p>What I like to believe happened after 3x15</p>
            </div></td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Relationships:</b></td><td>Evan "Buck" Buckley/Eddie Diaz (9-1-1 TV)</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Comments:</b></td><td>18</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Kudos:</b></td><td>326</td></tr>

</table>

<a name="section0001"><h2>It’s Okay</h2></a>
<div class="story"><div class="userstuff module">
    
    <p>Buck stood there with a creased forehead and dark eyes. Bobby was barking orders at all the firefighters present but he only heard empty promises. With every minute Bucks heart sank deeper into his chest, the thought of losing Eddie was the only thing occupying his mind. The pain in his chest was never something he’s ever felt before, and something he never wanted to feel again. He knows everyone else already gave up hope, they were looking for a body rather than Eddie. He couldn’t stop himself from wanting to give up but he couldn’t. Eddie has to be alive there is so much growing that Christopher has left and he needs his dad there, Buck needs him there. </p><p>Buck feels numb, and no amount of time could ever heal that. He was so lost in his own thought that he almost hadn’t noticed Eddie. “Eddie?” The words left his mouth without permission ans he was there holding Eddie before his mind had processed it. Eddie was there in his arms, pale, cold, and hurt but he was there. Shock painted every part of Bucks face the world around him freezing everything and everyone except for Eddie, his best friend. </p><p>“I got a big day Friday” Eddie huffed struggling to breathe “can’t miss it” he laughed and Buck’s heart flourished, his shoulders relaxing and happiness consuming him. Eddie was ok. </p><p>They led him to the ambulance, wrapping him in blankets while Hen checked him out. Buck not letting go of his best friend’s hand once. His eyes refused to leave Eddie’s face, scared that if he even thought about blinking Eddie would somehow disappear into thin air. “We need to get you to the hospital, you may have a mild case of hypothermia and some internal bleeding” Hen looked worried as checked over her friend. Eddie nodded, just completely and utterly exhausted. </p><p>“Ok-ok I’m gonna go with him Cap” Buck was already getting on the truck. Bobby squeezed Bucks shoulder, nodding. He didn’t want to argue with Buck and tell him to go home first, he knew it was pointless. He’s never seen Buck so devastated before and he couldn’t be happier that he didn’t have to comfort Buck for a loss that would be so painful. </p><p>“Ok we’ll see you there” Buck nodded vigorously while still looking at Eddie. He sat facing Eddie still holding his hand tightly. He looked so frail and tired, Bucks heart couldn’t help but ache</p><p>“Y-ya ‘aven’t let go of my ‘and once Buck” Eddie smiled up at Buck, his eyes half closed. Buck instantly let go of Eddie’s hand, embarrassed. </p><p>“Sorry I-just I didn’t notice” buck bit his lip and ignored the way his heart raced. </p><p>“I didn’t ‘ay stop” Eddie turned towards him smiling again as he weakly reaches his hand out. Buck grabbed onto it like it was a life line. The paramedic beside them pretending to not notice the intimate moment. </p><p>“Uh how are- how are you feeling?” Buck asked rubbing circles on the back of Eddie’s hand. His voice was laced with emotion, the thought of losing Eddie still lingering in his mind. </p><p>“A little chilly but I’ll survive” he smiled again. “How are ya feeling?” Buck laughed at this. here Eddie was just seconds away from death and he was worried about Buck. </p><p>“I’m okay” he smiled, squeezing Eddie’s hand just one more time to make sure he was really there. “I’m okay now”  </p><p>They arrived at the hospital quickly and Buck was still holding Eddie’s hand as they wheeled him in. “Sir you’re going to need to let go” a nurse approached him and he looked at Eddie with eyes that could melt the heart of a dictator. </p><p>“I’ll be fine” Eddie smiled “don’t worry” Buck didn’t believe him but let go after Eddie gave his hand one more squeeze. </p><p>“I’ll let you know his room number when we get everything set up” the nurse smiled before following. </p><p>Buck washed his face in the hospital bathroom before leading himself to the waiting room, pacing back and fourth before finally letting himself fall into a seat. His shoulders finally relaxed as he allowed the tears to fall down his cheeks. He put his head in his hands as a silent sob escaped his lips. He inhaled, his chest burning as he struggled to catch his breath. He wasn’t sure exactly why he was crying, wether it was because he thought he had lost Eddie or wether because Eddie was okay. He was brought out of his sobfest by someone placing a hand on his shoulder. </p><p>He visuously wiped at his tears before looking up. “Hey Buddy” Bobby looked down with worried eyes and before he knew it Buck was engulfed in a hug. His body melting into Bobby’s as he lets every sob leave his body. </p><p>“I-I th-ought” Buck heaved “I- thought I- lost h-him” Bobby places a hand on Bucks head. He finally felt somewhat at ease in Bobby’s arms. </p><p>“But you didn’t Buck. You didn’t want to give up and Eddie will always know that.  He’s okay now” Bobby whispered, not letting go of him. Buck nodded into the hug before letting go. </p><p>“I’m sorry I- I shouldn’t have-“ </p><p>“No Buck, I know how much you care about Eddie” he gave him a look that Buck didn’t really understand. “It’s okay to shed tears about someone you love- you care about ” Bobby stuttered slightly. </p><p>Buck looked down, fiddling with his thumbs. Of course Buck loves Eddie, he’s his best friend. That’s what Bobby had meant right? Of course  that’s what he meant, Eddie is his best friend that is all. </p><p>Buck looked around just now noticing Athena. “Hey Buckaroo” she smiled grabbing his hands. </p><p>“Hey Athena” he smiled tiredly. She pulled him into a hug. When he pulled away he noticed the rest of the 118 family had made an appearance. Everyone’s face wearing the same mask of worry and stress. He looked at his phone for the first time in hours, just realizing now that it was 1 a.m. </p><p>“Can I get the Family of Eddie Diaz?” The doctor looked up from her clipboard shocked by the large mass of people that stood up. “He should be up and about in no time. We are just going to keep him over night to check his vitals. You are more than welcome to visit him but please keep it short as he needs to rest” she smiled before leaving.</p><p>Buck let out a breathe he didn’t notice he was holding. Relief flood through him as he followed everyone else to Eddie’s room. </p><p>Eddie sat up instantly upon the sight of his family. He wanted Christopher to be there so bad but he couldn’t bring himself to wake him up this late at night. “Hey Eddie how you feeling?” Bobby was the first to speak up as they all surrounded his bed. Buck didn’t like the look of Eddie in a hospital bed, he looked so small and ill and Buck just wanted to stop all his pain. </p><p>“I’ve had better days” Eddie smiled. </p><p>“You really spooked us there man” Chimney pipped up this time. “Glad you’re okay” </p><p>“Spooked is an understatement” Hen shoved Chimney slightly. “Buck here almost lost it” </p><p>Buck looked down with hot cheeks, clearing his throat. Eddie turned smirking a little “Is that true Evan?” He used Bucks actual name and Buck’s body somehow got even hotter. </p><p>Buck prepared to answer Eddies question but not sure how to exactly. How exactly would he tell Eddie that he had completely lost it and desperately tried to dig Eddie out with his bare hands before collapsing into a fit of tears? There really was no easy way. Or unembarassing way either. He rubbed the back of his neck uncomfortably. </p><p>“Actually I think it’s getting a little late here and Eddie needs his rest” Athena saved his ass for what felt like the millionth time. </p><p>“Yeah it’s good to see you’re doing well Eddie. We’ll be back tomorrow but please get some rest” Bobby continued off his wife before patting Eddies shoulder. </p><p>“Alright buddy I’ll see you tomorrow” Chinney gave his friend a goodbye hug. </p><p>“I’ll be back to lecture you tomorrow about the stunt you pulled. But for now get some rest ok?” Hen joked before kissing Eddie’s cheek goodbye. </p><p>“‘Course” Eddie whispered sleepily as he struggled to keep his eyes opened. </p><p>“You guys uh go ahead. I’m gonna stay a bit longer” Buck whispered as the others exchanged the same look Bobby gave him earlier. He furrowed his brows in confusion before pulling a seat right next to a now sleeping Eddie. </p><p>He sat there for a while just taking in Eddie at peace. A small smile playing on Bucks face, the sight of Eddie. His hand itched to run his fingers through Eddie’s hair, which is normal. Yes wanting to run your hand through your best friends hair as he slept was definitely normal. Ok maybe it wasn’t normal, but Buck couldn’t stop himself from thinking about it regardless. </p><p>He didn’t realize he had fallen asleep until he was woken up to the sound of someone whispering. “Please…I’m- still… I’m still alive” Buck got up confused. He blinked his eyes a few times finally remebering where. “I’m still alive” this time the mumbling was followed by a sob. </p><p>Buck stood up instantly placing his hand on Eddie’s arm. “Eddie, hey-hey” Buck nudged him slightly. </p><p>“‘M still alive” he cried again, his face twisted with pain. Buck shook him a little harder this time. Eddie sat straight up gasping for air, tears streaming down his face. He looked around confused.</p><p>“Hey-hey you’re okay. You’re here” Buck held Eddie’s face towards him. “You’re okay” Eddie looked Buck into his eyes for a second before bursting even further into tears. </p><p>Bucks heart broke at the sight of his best friend breaking down. Without even thinking Buck pulled Eddie into a hug and Eddie completely relaxed into his arms. He ran his arm up and down Eddies back in what was hopefully a comforting manner. </p><p>Eddie wasn’t usually an emotional man, often times he would hide his pain. That’s when Buck knew Eddie was really hurting. To be so willing to be comforted by Buck and crying freely into his arms, Eddie was really hurting. And Buck didn’t like it one bit. They could’ve been sitting like that for hours or minutes, but neither of them could tell, both distracted by the touch of the other. </p><p>“You stayed” Eddie crocked into Buck’s shoulder. Buck nodded before responding. </p><p>“Of course. I would never leave you alone” Buck whispered into Eddie’s hair before pulling away. “You okay?” Buck held Eddies face between his hands, Eddie couldn’t help but lean into the warmth of his hands. “It’s okay not to be okay Eddie” Buck said hoping Eddie would accept it. </p><p>“M’not okay” he whispered while looking down. His heart was still racing in his chest, every time he closed his eyes he was taken back to the cold muddy nothingness. A shiver ran down his spine at just the idea of wet mud or water. </p><p>“And that’s okay Eddie. What you did today was spectacular, you saved that little boys life. You managed to escape from an underground well in one piece, and that’s what makes you so strong” Buck tried to comfort Eddie but realistically he was just as scared as him. “It’s okay to still be scared.”</p><p>“I’m sorry” Eddie wiped at his face fustrated with himself. “I don’t mean to bring you down with me” Eddie looked down ashamed. Buck should be at home resting in the comfort of his own bed but instead he was here talking Eddie out of a bad dream. </p><p>“I don’t wanna hear any of that Eddie. As long as you need me I will be there” Buck wasn’t lying.  He would do anything to help his best friend feel safe again. </p><p>“You know when-when I was” he stoppeed to swallow his emotions down. “Um when I almost gave up, the thing that brought me back was Christopher” he fiddled with his fingers, trying to forget the burning feeling running through his veins. “And you” He looked at Buck from the side of his eyes. </p><p>Buck looked shocked, Eddie had thought of him in what he thought was his last moments. “You did?” Buck asked his skin feeling strangely hot and a blush decorating his cheeks. </p><p>“Yeah” he looked up this time, avoiding Buck completely. “Evan I was so scared I was never gonna see you again” he turned to look at Buck. “Your are one of the most important people to me” he held Bucks hand. Buck was looking at him with a look he couldn’t quiet read.  </p><p>Buck reached out to Eddie’s hand, Eddie was more than happy to take his. “You know that you and Christopher mean the world to me too.” He rubbed the back of his neck hoping he wasn’t reading the situation wrong. “I-I uh today when we thought we lost you I went a little crazy?” </p><p>“A little?” </p><p>“I thought I lost you Eddie.” Buck tried to think of a way to word his next sentences correctly. “It was the worst moment in my life.” Every part of his brain telling him not to say the next sentence but his heart took full control. “Eddie I could never imagine my life without you- you mean more to me than you will ever know.” </p><p>Buck expected Eddie to just shrug off his weird confession. Instead he was greeted with with Eddie’s lips crashing into his own. He felt electricity coursing through his veins as he deepened the kiss.</p><p>Buck got the answer he was looking for to a question he refused to ask. They said nothing after that, instead Eddie scooted over and pat the empty space beside him. </p><p>Buck took the spot and they laid there soaking up the warmth from one another. That’s how everyone found them the next morning, with Bucks arms wrapped around Eddie and eddies head buried into Bucks chest. Bobby looking at them with the same look Buck didn’t understand</p>
  </div><div class="fff_chapter_notes fff_foot_notes"><b>Author's Note:</b><blockquote class="userstuff"><p>Sorry this is a little sloppy and rushed but I just really wanted to get something out of tee that episode because wow. Also don’t be shy to hit me up on tumblr (same username) I would love to discuss anything :) and as always comments are welcomed &lt;3</p></blockquote></div></div>
</body>
</html>